Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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