Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
I'm really busy with my period
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize