Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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