im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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