i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
