He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
