Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Do you still have your period?
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
