direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
