don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
