I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
