Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Randomize
