dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
only if we run a train.
done.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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