my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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