I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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