So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
