A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Randomize
