my vag is so smooth its legendary
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
