why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
