i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize