I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
