Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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