Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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