He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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