A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
The power of my boobs compel you
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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