Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
