Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
