Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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