eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize