...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
