I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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