I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
