I wish life had little blips of pornography
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
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