Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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