help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
tell me about the eggs
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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