In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Welp...herpes.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Randomize
