We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
her facebook's as public as her vagina
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
