ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
