what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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