I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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