suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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