I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize