nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
