Girls should come with a carfax report
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
