i permit you to call me
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
