YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Drake has all the answers
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize