she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
