My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
