O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
