Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
