hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
