So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
