Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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