I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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