THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
