Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
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