I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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