Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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