So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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