You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
