no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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