I can't breathe out the right side of my face
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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