Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Soap is not a condiment
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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