I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
