so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
