yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Randomize
