Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
you win again, gameday.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
