Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize