Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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