That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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