He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
