HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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