as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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