i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
