the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
