Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
